经典重译之股票大作手回忆录(287)
原文(317):
I convinced myself that whatever was wrong was wrong with me and not with the market.Now what could be the trouble with me?I asked myself that question in the same spirit in which I always study the various phases of my trading problems.I thought about it calmly and came to the conclusion that my main trouble came from worrying over the money I owed.
I was never free from the mental discomfort of it.I must explain to you that it was not the mere consciousness of my indebtedness.Any business man contracts debts in the course of his regular business.Most of my debts were really nothing but business debts,due to what were unfavourable business conditions for me,and no worse than a merchant suffers from,for instance,when there is an unusually prolonged spell of unseasonable weather.
Of course as time went on and I could not pay I began to feel less philosophical about my debts.I'll explain:I owed over a million dollars—all of it stock-market losses,remember.Most of my creditors were very nice and didn't bother me;but there were two who did bedevil me.
They used to follow me around.Every time I made a winning each of them was Johnny-on-the-spot,wanting to know all about it and insisting on getting theirs right off.One of them,to whom I owed eight hundred dollars,threatened to sue me,seize my furniture,and so forth.I can't conceive why he thought I was concealing assets,unless it was that I didn't quite look like a stage hobo about to die of destitution.
其他版本译文(317):
我说服自己,认为不管有什么错误,都是我自己的错,一点儿都不能怪市场。那么我有什么问题呢?我秉持着一向研究不同阶段的交易问题时的精神,问自己这个问题,我冷静地分析了情势后,得出了结论:我的最大问题是担心我身上背负的那些债务,这个问题一直压迫着我。要讲清楚的是,这不光是欠账的心理在作祟。所有生意人在交易过程中都欠过别人的债务。我欠的债大多是商务债,是由不利于我的市场行情造成的。打个比方说,和商人遇到罕见而迁延很久的不正常气候相比,我的情形还没有那么严重。
日光如流水一般,因为还不上别人的钱,我对那些债务颇感烦躁。我需要说明:我欠着100多万,这都是在市场中损失的钱。很多人都对我很和善,没怎么为难我,只是有两个人总是纠缠我,一直跟在我屁股后面催债。我赚到点儿钱,他们就守在旁边,想搞明白有多少,逼我赶紧还账。有个人,我只欠他800美元,他还说要跟我上法庭,要扣押我的财产等,他竟然觉得我在藏匿财产,我对此很不理解,难道我看起来很不像即将穷困而死的无业游民?
我的译文(317):
我说服自己不要再怨天尤人了,不管怎样,市场没有错,错的是我自己。
关键是此刻对我来说,问题是什么呢?
以往每当我遇到交易难题时,我都会这样问自己,排除杂念,直面问题,这本是我的思维风格。现在我恢复了这种状态,经过冷静的思考,我得出结论,我主要的问题就是,债务重压所造成的内心焦虑,干扰了我的交易。
我始终无法摆脱这种内心的困扰,我总是陷于一种被债务所迫的焦虑中。我现在必须向你解释一下,我之前是如何看待这个债务问题的,我那时觉得它是任何一个正常商业运营的一部分。
任何商人在日常经营中都会有负债,任何生意也总有好和不好的时候,都会受到商业大环境的影响,而我的大部分债务,说到底也是一样,和那些商人们遇上持续反常的恶劣天气而蒙受损失,本质上并无二致。
而随着时间的推移,债务越滚越多,当然我对债务的看法也就不再那么乐观了。我来解释一下:我当时欠下了超过一百万美元的债务——全是股票市场的亏损造成的。我的大部分债主都很宽宏大量,并没有追着我不放,但其中有两个人,却着实使我饱受折磨。
他们常常缠着我不放。每次我赚了点儿钱,他俩都会立刻凑上来,非要问清楚来龙去脉,还坚持要我当场就把欠他们的钱还上。其中有一个人,我欠了他八百美元,就威胁要起诉我、扣押我的家具,诸如此类的。我实在想不通,他为什么会觉得我在隐匿资产呢?难道他认为我那种如流浪汉一般,就要潦倒而死的状态,只是一种舞台上的拙劣表演吗?
引用依据:
1. Edwin Lefèvre: Reminiscences of a Stock Operator
2. 《股票大作手回忆录》([美] 埃德温·勒菲弗 著,汤前燕 译)
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